Fan Fiction
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Witchcraft – (Chapter: What are the odds?)
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Tara talks to herself.
Who is she? She’s new? Never saw her before! Does she have a conscience? She just hit me and leaves without asking me if I was okay… Stupid!
Tara picks up her stuff and leaves. Arriving in class she sits beside Buffy and tells her what just happened to her on the way to class.
Buffy : What room do you remember?
Tara : Not a clue, but I can assure you that she was hot!
They giggle.
Buffy : You saw her from behind!
Tara : That’s the point!
They laugh.
We hear the ring and the teacher comes in.
Buffy : Tell me more after the class…You can come in my room, and hopefully you’ll meet my bestfriend Willow… She’s a bit down… but meeting new people would cheer her up!
Tara : Fine with me!
AFTER CLASS
Tara and Buffy are on their way to Buffy’s room, when Willow shows up infront of them.
Buffy : Willow! She shouts.
Willow wave at Buffy and she looks at Tara in an odd way… I know this person but from where… Willow walks towards them.
Buffy : Willow, this is Tara. (looking at Willow). And Tara this is Willow. (looking at Tara).
Tara : Yeah wet met in the corridor… this morning… Tara sounds cold.
Willow : I’m sorry? Do I know you? (with a aggressive tone in her voice)
Tara : Yeah, you’re the one person that rushes into people without saying a word, and certainly without helping them… She sounds ever colder with a point of anger.
Willow : You’re the one that rushed into me this morning… And I said I was sorry!
Buffy : Tara, she’s the *****… per… person that you talked to me about in class?
Tara : Yeah, this is her!
Willow : Okay, what’s going on here? I really don’t want to start any fights today, I don’t feel like it at all.
Buffy : Nevermind. Maybe we should go in the lobby Tara?
Tara : I’m with you…
Willow : No one wants to explain? Fine I’ll be in my room Buffy, when you feel like it come and give me explanations.
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I was a huge fan of Buffy and even more of Willow and Tara. I’m really happy that you decide to write on them. I really like it .. and I have the best place to get it first!! ;P
No offense, but I guess I am just more into cannon stories then most……….*shrug*……..and I don’t want you to think this is a slam against you and your writing, I am just trying to critique and give honest/helpful critism:
#1-You might want to seperate Dialogue with approstevies (sorry, my spelling sucks, you can go “critique” my stuff, it’ll be interesting) and make clear whose speaking and how they are feeling at the time they are speaking.
#2-The same-time emotions of the dialouge would help immmensely with the readability of your story.
#3-Your storytelling ability is excellent, the readability of it is what needs to help with the flow and to keep your readers/audience.
#4-I see great potential for this story and you as a writer. Dream big and go far! =}